If I have to choose a word that describes me best, I would say im RECKLESS. Its funny how I go from not interested to head over heels and then realising that wasnt it either. In my 24 years of life, i have always confessed to a guy when I feel like im in love with them. Of course I get rejected most of the time but I never learned. So the never learn my lesson me made the big confession to my so called best friend. As soon as I texted him, I knew that was the wrong move but when I think about it again its good that I confessed cuz the feelings I had just dissappeared. I guess it was just an illusion. In korean there's a word called 금사빠남 which means a guy who falls easily. I guess im the female version. I fall fast and deep but get out even faster. And this brings me to my next problem. A few weeks back the secondary school mates created a chatgroup and started talking to those people who I have not met in years eventhough we live around the same area. The girls meet up often and one of them have been having matters of the heart problems with one of the guy. So me being the busybody that I am decided to 'help' her. It started off innocently. Just what do you think of her? If you are not interested just say no and dont beat around the bush and keep her waiting kind of conversation. I should have stopped there. We should have stopped there. But we went too far. It started off as a joke but I feel like im digging my own grave. Is he still joking around or maybe he is like me? We tell each other things like you flutter my heart I was still taking things with a pinch of salt till yesterday when we met. How can he look straight into my eyes and feel nothing after all that flirting. Eventhough we did it as a joke at first I think we are taking things too far. When the bunch of us was talking about the things that girls like, I said instead of material goods I prefer little notes with sweet words and at that very moment you took your phone, wrote something and showed it too me. When I read what you wrote, my heart was beating so hard it feels like it was gonna explode. 'Hey gorgeous, you complete me.' It made me wonder if it was a just a joke or there was some kind of truth behind it especially when you refuse to show the rest what you wrote. As unlocked my house front door,I saw you at the corner of my eyes and as the lift's door closes, u gave me that wink and my leg just turn jello. Since your bestfriend told me you never text any girls first and so far ive been the one to text u first, I told myself... if I dont receive any text from you, I would just give it up and think of it all as a joke. And very surprisingly, u texted me when I was getting ready for bed telling me to watch soccer. And so I did. It felt like we were watching it together. How did you go from a classmate I knew from pri 5 all the way to sec 5 to a guy that is exactly my type. In the 7 years that we see each other everyday in class,I never had a crush on you and now im telling myself how did I missed out on a guy like you? And next week you are sailing off for 8 months. Without any form of communication for, I hope you wont forget me and our dinner date set for when you're back. Bon voyage, take care and think of me from time to time.