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the dreamer.
.Masita | 마시타
flash back
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Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
its going to end soon.
its going to end soon.
so my 6 months here is almost up and i'll be staying here for another 6 months.
most probably be back next february.
have to start planning what i want to do when im back.
its kinda sad to know that its going to end soon.
but its going to end somehow.
i have a life here and i dont think its going to be easy but while life here is still not that serious i should pack my bag and go.
the longer i stay here, the harder its going to be.
starting tomorrow im going make full use of my time here!
its going to start from bringing my camera everywhere and taking lots of picture!!
most probably be back next february.
have to start planning what i want to do when im back.
its kinda sad to know that its going to end soon.
but its going to end somehow.
i have a life here and i dont think its going to be easy but while life here is still not that serious i should pack my bag and go.
the longer i stay here, the harder its going to be.
starting tomorrow im going make full use of my time here!
its going to start from bringing my camera everywhere and taking lots of picture!!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
im sorry dad.
im sorry dad.
just got off the phone with my dad.
sometimes i call him because i miss him and want to talk to him
but it always ends up me asking for money.
the reason i called today was because of my dorm fees and i have contemplating to call him..
i had to get it done somehow and the due date is early next month.
im gonna be so screwed if i dont.
sometimes i feel that coming here was a very bad idea cause im not from a rich family like most of those china kids.
its just that my dad gave me hope first.
he told me he had some money.
i saw that money but somehow a few months before i left the money was gone.
thats when i know im doomed.
i dont know how but truthfully i was dissappointed.
its like something else is most important than his daughter's happiness.
i may sound like a bad daughter but this is how i feel...
sorry dad for trying to live like a rich kid and going overseas to study
i'll make it up to you someday.
I SWEAR.
sometimes i call him because i miss him and want to talk to him
but it always ends up me asking for money.
the reason i called today was because of my dorm fees and i have contemplating to call him..
i had to get it done somehow and the due date is early next month.
im gonna be so screwed if i dont.
sometimes i feel that coming here was a very bad idea cause im not from a rich family like most of those china kids.
its just that my dad gave me hope first.
he told me he had some money.
i saw that money but somehow a few months before i left the money was gone.
thats when i know im doomed.
i dont know how but truthfully i was dissappointed.
its like something else is most important than his daughter's happiness.
i may sound like a bad daughter but this is how i feel...
sorry dad for trying to live like a rich kid and going overseas to study
i'll make it up to you someday.
I SWEAR.
Monday, July 18, 2011
is this some kind of fate?
is this some kind of fate?
so yeah today was supposed to change seats.
have been sitting next to 그 남자 for 2 weeks straight and really wanted to change seat
cuz its kinda awkward between us and to be honest im kinda angry with him.
he acts like there's nothing between us when obviously there something and he is ignoring me and making me a fool!
so how our seat is arranged is by drawing lots.
when the teacher reached me there was only two choices left and i made my choice and opened up the paper.
i was no.2
so i turned to him and saw him paper no.3!!!
which means he is still beside me!!
seriously what are the odds??!!
there's 15 people in my class and for the 4th week i'll be sitting beside him!!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
lazy sunday.
lazy sunday.
cause when your heart is broken.you just wanna laze around and take pretty pictures.
but i look like an idiot instead.
the idiot who fell for the wrong guy.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
im just so sensitive these days.
im just so sensitive these days.
so yeah.
still no msg from that guy.
im moving on to the next guy.
we are going to watch a baseball game at the end of this month.
its your lost.
still no msg from that guy.
im moving on to the next guy.
we are going to watch a baseball game at the end of this month.
its your lost.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
i get it,just friends...
i get it,just friends...
cause he dont even bother to send me a message today,
while i threw away my pride to send him a message yesterday and the reply was lukewarm.
this is frustrating.
he obviously had all the time in the world today.
how i know?
cause he went for the field trip and the trip takes 3hrs to and 3hrs fro.
thats 6 hours of free time altogether!
i dont know why im acting like this.
its like i like him more than he like me.
SHIT!
he's not even anything special.
not that goodlooking.
not tall.
skinny.
not korean!
younger than me!! (the thing i hate the most)
so after flirting to death with me,
you just dump me aside?!
UrghhhH!
and i just chucked a korean guy aside for you!
oh the horror!
this is like part 2.
dejavu :(
while i threw away my pride to send him a message yesterday and the reply was lukewarm.
this is frustrating.
he obviously had all the time in the world today.
how i know?
cause he went for the field trip and the trip takes 3hrs to and 3hrs fro.
thats 6 hours of free time altogether!
i dont know why im acting like this.
its like i like him more than he like me.
SHIT!
he's not even anything special.
not that goodlooking.
not tall.
skinny.
not korean!
younger than me!! (the thing i hate the most)
so after flirting to death with me,
you just dump me aside?!
UrghhhH!
and i just chucked a korean guy aside for you!
oh the horror!
this is like part 2.
dejavu :(
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
what is this....? are we or are we not?
what is this....? are we or are we not?
yeah so the day after the msg exchange,
its back to school.
i thought he wasnt coming to class and was relief for a while but...
at 9.20am he came!
and my heart goes 두근두근.
it was so awkward i think it was unbearable to watch
and to make things worse his seat is next to me!
we didnt speak for an hour or so.
just looking at each other was so awkward!
thank god i understood chinese a little bit cuz this is what he said to his friend
"she didnt even looked at me the whole day!"
i think he was just as confuse as me.
so what is the status of our relationship?
as time passed it got better but still awkward...
haiz...
AND Chunmei dropped a bomb during reading class!
I WAS SO FREAKING EMBARASSED!!
so our teacher ask that guy if he had a girlfriend...
그 남자 : 아마
선생님 : 아마 우리 어학원 있어?
춘매 : 네! 우리 어학원 있어! 우리 반에 있어!
I swear my heart just dropped and i think my mouth dropped too.
Ultimately my name just came out and while we were busily denying everyone else was clapping hands and saying congratulations!
It was so embrassing somehow.
I mean we dont even know the status of our relationship.
Even if we were dating i dont want people to know...
WHY??
BECAUSE HE JUST FREAKING BROKE UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND A FEW WEEKS AGO!
Its not even a month.
I know his ex-girlfriend and everyone knows that he just broke up with her!
His girlfriend is still upset over the breakup(how i know?all thanks to her facebook post!)
And i dont want to be the reason they broke up.
its back to school.
i thought he wasnt coming to class and was relief for a while but...
at 9.20am he came!
and my heart goes 두근두근.
it was so awkward i think it was unbearable to watch
and to make things worse his seat is next to me!
we didnt speak for an hour or so.
just looking at each other was so awkward!
thank god i understood chinese a little bit cuz this is what he said to his friend
"she didnt even looked at me the whole day!"
i think he was just as confuse as me.
so what is the status of our relationship?
as time passed it got better but still awkward...
haiz...
AND Chunmei dropped a bomb during reading class!
I WAS SO FREAKING EMBARASSED!!
so our teacher ask that guy if he had a girlfriend...
그 남자 : 아마
선생님 : 아마 우리 어학원 있어?
춘매 : 네! 우리 어학원 있어! 우리 반에 있어!
I swear my heart just dropped and i think my mouth dropped too.
Ultimately my name just came out and while we were busily denying everyone else was clapping hands and saying congratulations!
It was so embrassing somehow.
I mean we dont even know the status of our relationship.
Even if we were dating i dont want people to know...
WHY??
BECAUSE HE JUST FREAKING BROKE UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND A FEW WEEKS AGO!
Its not even a month.
I know his ex-girlfriend and everyone knows that he just broke up with her!
His girlfriend is still upset over the breakup(how i know?all thanks to her facebook post!)
And i dont want to be the reason they broke up.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
are we? are we not?
are we? are we not?
its so frustrating when you dont speak the same language.
so are we dating now?
i dont think i can face him tomorrow...
i bet i will be bluushing like crazy.
so are we dating now?
i dont think i can face him tomorrow...
i bet i will be bluushing like crazy.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
is this how a heart breaks?
is this how a heart breaks?
did something stupid yesterday night.
viewed that guy's picture on facebook.
so he have a girlfriend now.
never thought that he would still have an effect on me but boy was i wrong.
seeing those pictures just shot a bullet through my heart.
i know that exaggerating but i think if i were to be shot by a bullet it would feel like that.
but congrats anyway and you look happy.
and to add salt to the already painful wound,
received exams result today.
i did so badly that im so ashamed of myself.
if only i could dig a hole and bury myself i would.
today was difficult day.
i cant even concentrate in class.
just wanted to cry and let it out...
and to make things worst,
he didnt even come to school today.
i dressed up so nicely for nothing.
i guess i no longer motivate him to come to school no matter how hungover he is.
나쁜 남자!
난 너 좋아해!
몰라? 바보 아나니?!
viewed that guy's picture on facebook.
so he have a girlfriend now.
never thought that he would still have an effect on me but boy was i wrong.
seeing those pictures just shot a bullet through my heart.
i know that exaggerating but i think if i were to be shot by a bullet it would feel like that.
but congrats anyway and you look happy.
and to add salt to the already painful wound,
received exams result today.
i did so badly that im so ashamed of myself.
if only i could dig a hole and bury myself i would.
today was difficult day.
i cant even concentrate in class.
just wanted to cry and let it out...
and to make things worst,
he didnt even come to school today.
i dressed up so nicely for nothing.
i guess i no longer motivate him to come to school no matter how hungover he is.
나쁜 남자!
난 너 좋아해!
몰라? 바보 아나니?!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
what is this feeling?
what is this feeling?
as i've mention im going to start blogging again after exams so...mid-terms ended today and it was difficult!
SUPER DUPER.
wells its over anyways, nothing i can do.
after that had lunch with classmate.
chat a LOT!
those guys are super talkative,
진짜 여자 처럼! 아이고!
When karaoke-ing after that with Chun Mei and the 3 boys.
its like we have created a new clique.
after karaoke-ing went to play pool.
i SUCK big time like usual!
after 5pm the 3 of them left and there's only me and that guy.
i dont know what wrong with me but i seem to be attracted to him.
he is so cheesy and stuff but he makes me feel so happy.
like im special.
nobody have said to me that the reason they came to school is because of me.
but it seems like he is not interested in me anymore after i played too hard to get.
dude make up your mind!
if not im just going to move on.
im not playing the waiting game anymore.
dont want to be the fool anymore.
SHIT I think I really really like this guy.
like him enough to ignore korean guys.
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Han river at night.
Han river at night.
so had a 'date?' with a korean guy i just befiended.
yeah it was great...
walked around his school, had dinner and went to Han river.
that place is a couple and dogs paradise.
i cant stand the environment to be honest.
but he's a nice guy.
he knew im scared of dogs so he 'protected' me from them.
from time to time i can feel his hands on my back.
avoiding me from the druken ahjusshi.
yeah and we played with fire crackers too.
just the kind of thing i want to do with my boyfriend if i had one.
yeah it was great...
walked around his school, had dinner and went to Han river.
that place is a couple and dogs paradise.
i cant stand the environment to be honest.
but he's a nice guy.
he knew im scared of dogs so he 'protected' me from them.
from time to time i can feel his hands on my back.
avoiding me from the druken ahjusshi.
yeah and we played with fire crackers too.
just the kind of thing i want to do with my boyfriend if i had one.
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
OMG i need to wake up.
OMG i need to wake up.
it seems like my heart is being shaken by that guy.
why am i so weak?
i've only known him for like 3 weeks or so.
omg dude stop flirting with me cause i cant help but flirt back.
its okay i have a date with a korean guy this saturday!
i hope he'll get out of my mind.
why am i so weak?
i've only known him for like 3 weeks or so.
omg dude stop flirting with me cause i cant help but flirt back.
its okay i have a date with a korean guy this saturday!
i hope he'll get out of my mind.
Monday, July 04, 2011
Monday, July 04, 2011
already been 4 months...
already been 4 months...
i almost forgot that i had a blog when i just blogged like a few months ago!
reading back old post makes me think that its good to keep a blog.
was reading all my post and god... TEENAGE ANGST!
and why is so many post about that guy?
its like my life revolves around him.
maybe when i get even older and read back all my post i can somehow know how i lived my life?
right now living in Seoul... it may seem all glitz but truthfully its hard.
im not alone but im alone...its that kind of feeling if you know what im talking about.
To simply put it...its LONELY~ (starts to sing 2NE1's lonely~~)
frankly speaking the people i miss the most is my family.
never would have thought i would miss them so much but being far away makes us even closer.
And the most difficult thing of course is money 돈!!
my family is not rich and i cant afford to play too much and its difficult.
I want to have fun to but.. wells
those lucky rich china kids...~
yeah and right now im studying level 2 korean and its a bitch!
why is it so difficult?
and with the guy sitting beside me who keeps bothering me non-stop... its so hard to concentrate!
DUDE do you like me or something?
wanna date? yeah sure since im so bored anyways..just wait till the exam is over!
i want to do well but its getting so difficult and i have exams on friday!
GREAT!
im gonna fail and get deported back to singapore by my dad! HAH!
i really wanna stay here till next year at least...
reading back old post makes me think that its good to keep a blog.
was reading all my post and god... TEENAGE ANGST!
and why is so many post about that guy?
its like my life revolves around him.
maybe when i get even older and read back all my post i can somehow know how i lived my life?
right now living in Seoul... it may seem all glitz but truthfully its hard.
im not alone but im alone...its that kind of feeling if you know what im talking about.
To simply put it...its LONELY~ (starts to sing 2NE1's lonely~~)
frankly speaking the people i miss the most is my family.
never would have thought i would miss them so much but being far away makes us even closer.
And the most difficult thing of course is money 돈!!
my family is not rich and i cant afford to play too much and its difficult.
I want to have fun to but.. wells
those lucky rich china kids...~
yeah and right now im studying level 2 korean and its a bitch!
why is it so difficult?
and with the guy sitting beside me who keeps bothering me non-stop... its so hard to concentrate!
DUDE do you like me or something?
wanna date? yeah sure since im so bored anyways..just wait till the exam is over!
i want to do well but its getting so difficult and i have exams on friday!
GREAT!
im gonna fail and get deported back to singapore by my dad! HAH!
i really wanna stay here till next year at least...