finally.
i made up my mind.
i was lying in bed thinking...
what the fuck am i doing here?
why am i suffering when i can be at the comfort of my own house.
i dont have to worry about food.
i can eat whatever i want.
i dont have to feel cold.
i dont have to feel lonely.
yeah sure i do have friends.
but its so different from talking to my sister every night before we sleep.
more than anything else, i really miss my sister a whole lot.
i love teasing them and irritate them all the time.
eventhough i say im loving all this freedom but who the heck am i kidding..
i want to be nag at, at least i feel that im loved.
be nag at when im not eating
be nag at when im home late
be nag at when im just lazing out at home.
here...im just staring at the four walls talking to myself.
it feels so depressing.
i eat on my bed, i read on my bed, i use my computer on my bed
so unproductive.
its sad to eat alone,
its sad to have nothing to do,
its just sad.
i wont say i regret coming here...but it would be better if i was a little prepared.
i met some good friends, had great happy times, sad times,did some things that i wasnt supposed to do.
heartbreaks here and there.
its a life experience..i can actually write a book
how many people can actually said they lived overseas before?
previously i did want to leave but i dont want to
cause as much as i love my family, i did have some precious people that i dont want to leave behind.
but finally...now i feel i can leave.
no more lingering feeling.
i dont know what im going to do when i get back but at least i wont get hungry.

So many things happened since the last post
The guy who i thought was going to be the love of my life fucked up
And i almost believed him,almost loved him
In the end looks really does matter
Sorry theres nothing i can do about it
After wrecking my brain to figure out how i can stay here even for a few months more,
It doesnt really matter anymore does it?
I really should have just left then...

Meeting you was the biggest regret of my life and it led to an even more regrettable things
A couple months ago i met the guy who i first met when i first came here
Out of the blue he came back and is messing around with my mind
What kind of friend calls you out at night just to see your face
What kind of friend come to see you at 5am in a druken state and cry in front of you
What kind of friend says they miss you even if we just met a day ago
What kind of friends are we?
I dont want to think about it cuz it will make me confuse
Im gonna leave
Im not going have any lingering feelings when i leave
So dont even say you miss me like me love me drunk or sober..
Cuz im gonna leave this place coolly..