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I thought you loved me.
It was just my wishful thinking.
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the dreamer.
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.Masita | 마시타

flash back
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
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October 2009
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January 2011
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January 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
March 2013
September 2013
October 2013

Tuesday, March 27, 2012 Tuesday, March 27, 2012
finally.

finally.
i made up my mind.
i was lying in bed thinking...
what the fuck am i doing here?
why am i suffering when i can be at the comfort of my own house.
i dont have to worry about food.
i can eat whatever i want.
i dont have to feel cold.
i dont have to feel lonely.
yeah sure i do have friends.
but its so different from talking to my sister every night before we sleep.
more than anything else, i really miss my sister a whole lot.
i love teasing them and irritate them all the time.
eventhough i say im loving all this freedom but who the heck am i kidding..
i want to be nag at, at least i feel that im loved.
be nag at when im not eating
be nag at when im home late
be nag at when im just lazing out at home.
here...im just staring at the four walls talking to myself.
it feels so depressing.
i eat on my bed, i read on my bed, i use my computer on my bed
so unproductive.
its sad to eat alone,
its sad to have nothing to do,
its just sad.
i wont say i regret coming here...but it would be better if i was a little prepared.
i met some good friends, had great happy times, sad times,did some things that i wasnt supposed to do.
heartbreaks here and there.
its a life experience..i can actually write a book
how many people can actually said they lived overseas before?
previously i did want to leave but i dont want to
cause as much as i love my family, i did have some precious people that i dont want to leave behind.
but finally...now i feel i can leave.
no more lingering feeling.
i dont know what im going to do when i get back but at least i wont get hungry.